Lyrics

Young Dave fights crime for a living
Never being thanked for the time that he’s giving, but he
Dons his uniform at the crack of dawn
And counts the days down to Friday
Dave is an undercover raver, cheesy quaver
Whistles, white gloves and wild behaviour
During the week he’s a man of the law
Come the weekend he’s a demon on the dancefloor
Most happy when he’s busting moves
He never really got off on busting the youths
But he never really felt like he got to choose
And now he’s got too much to lose

CHORUS
How many lives do you hide to get by
How many lies do you try to justify
Before you wonder why, why
Why you even try
Try to fool them all
When you know that all along it’s just a lie.

Well Barry was a barrister born and bred
25 years of corporate law stored in his head
Cut straight to the chase, poker face,
No silly business please he’s got no time to waste
At least that was until Barry would go to bed

See Barry always slept in a water-bed
Wearing a man-size nappy that he always wet
With a woman that he paid by the week to breastfeed him
While she read aloud from the Law Gazette

But the fact is we’ve all got a little bit of Barry in us
All got a dirty little secret that we carry in us
And maybe it’s alright to hide
If it’ll add a little spice to life, so tell me

CHORUS

Big Mike, works on a building site
Used to wolf-whistle every girl in sight
And let The Sun decide the words he’d say
Then one night, must’ve been his drink got spiked
Suddenly his mind is alight
And he understands the world in ways he can’t convey

Now he’s an undercover hippy but a brickie by day
Has to pull a sickie cos he just can’t say
That he needs time off for his chakra healing workshop
So instead he has to practice being all
Page 3 tits and
PG Tips and
Extra mushy peas with his cheesy chips
Doing his best to deceive these kids
But does anybody there even give two shits or
Are they too busy trying to blend in
Everybody in his own way pretending
The big secret we’re all defending…

CHORUS x 2