Lyrics

Everybody's got a mate like that

It’s 8 o'clock, you’re round at your mates
You’re getting ready for a night on the town, It’s gonna be great
But it’s getting late, so you all do a dab
And neck a bottle of tequila while you order the cab

It’s gone 11 when you finally rock up at the club
The girls are hot as fuck and you’re a sucker for love
The queue’s long but the skirts are short so of course
You try your patter on the ladies and then work the floor

An hour later and you're almost in in more
Ways than one judging by this girls grin
But then Jim, he’s been on the gin, he starts to
Get that expression that can only mean one thing

Next minute he’s up in the face
Of the biggest bouncer trying to tell him he’s a fucking disgrace
Before you know it there’s a scuffle and you’re out on your arses
And Jim’s moaning that they broke his glasses!
What the fuck Jim?!

CHORUS
Everybody’s got a mate like that
The one who talks back to the bouncer when he’s being a twat
And everybody’s got a mate like this
Gets way too pissed and then tries to give your mother a kiss
Everybody’s got a mate like me
Prancing around like he’s on TV
Not everybody’s got a mate like you
Yeah the one who stays true when it all falls through
Well anyone can be your friend
But when it all falls down
Will they be there to pick you up again?

Re-wind, you’re 16 years old
On a mission to never listen or do what you're told
The only people who matter are your mates but some days
You feel like you could batter them anyway, like one day…

You had a party cos your mum was out, you stole a
Bottle of whiskey cos the rum was out
It’s getting messy when you suddenly hear your worst fear
Keys in the front door and your mum’s appeared
The room freezes, time stands still
Jenny’s in the corner trying to hide Stan’s pills
But you mum just laughs, throws you a wink
Says “Is no one going to offer me a drink?!”
No way man, your mum’s too jokes! She’s the
Queen of the party, she’s the host with the most. Now she’s
Of in the kitchen making everybody toast with baked beans
Acting like she’s suddenly 18
But better than than she be acting grown up
Discovering the bedroom where Emily’s thrown up
So now you’re taking her a rum and coke
Only to find some bloke with his tongue
Halfway down her throat!
What the fuck Jim?!